Kamilah Kashanie (KK): Like every year around this time, you may have noticed that love seems to be in the air. Your local grocery store probably has chocolate hearts and flowers in the window, and top-ten lists of romance movies are making the rounds on social media.
But whatever Valentine’s day means to you, whether you’re celebrating with a romantic partner, or a platonic one, your pet or your favorite bottle of wine, we’re bringing you stories from couples who don’t need to look at a calendar to remember that they’re in love.
It’s the StoryCorps podcast from NPR. I’m your host Kamilah Kashanie.
First up, a couple that has spent almost a lifetime together. Julia and Joel Helfman met when they were in middle school, and they got married when they were 19 and 20 years old. They came to StoryCorps just a few months shy of their 70th wedding anniversary to remember how it all began.
Joel Helfman (JH): I was playing stick ball.
Julia Helfman (FJH): I was reading a book.
JH: You caught the ball, and I came to retrieve it.
FJH: You were the skinniest person I’d ever seen.
JH: And I thought to myself, ’What a hot babe.’
FJH: [Laugh] Did you really?
JH: And the rest is almost history.
FJH: We became fast friends.
JH: And that’s all we were. I mean I was —
FJH: That’s right. There was no hanky-panky, there was no writing my name next to yours. How come you never made a pass at me?
JH: You were really beautiful, but you were above fooling around. I left home for Chicago when I was about seventeen and a half.
FJH: — And a half. Right.
JH: I wrote to you and said, “I was coming back to New York for a week. And I would love to see you.”
FJH: Right.
JH: Were you enthusiastic about it?
FJH: No.
JH: Oh, ok.
FJH: I said, ’Well, he’s been gone over a year and I haven’t even gotten a postcard.’ And my mother said, ’He’s such a nice boy. You always enjoy being with him.’ So I thought, ’Well, I’ll listen to my mother.”’
JH: So I came back and we saw each other every day. And then we were walking home in the park…
FJH: Thursday night…
JH: And you stopped and said…
FJH: I’ll say what I said.
JH: Go ahead.
FJH: I said, ’How much do you like me, a little or a lot?’ You said…
FJH and JH: ’A whole lot.’
FJH: And I said, ’I like you more than any other male except my Papa.’ And then I looked at you and I said…
JH: ’What are we gonna do about it?’
FJH: And what did you say?
JH: ’We could get married.’
FJH: And I said, ’Let’s.’ We had never even kissed. We had never held hands. So you walked me up the five flights of stairs
JH: I did.
FJH: And then you gave me a kiss on the lips, and that was enough for me. I went into the apartment and I said, ’Papa. I’m going to get married.’ He said, ’No, you’re not. You’ve got a brain; you’re gonna make something of yourself.’ And I said, ’Papa, there’s just something about him that just makes me feel I can do things. I know we can build a great life together. I just know it, Papa.’ And my father looked at me and he said, ’I have never doubted your judgment. If this is what you want, I support you in it.’ And that was that.
JH: We’re happy, right?
FJH: [Sigh] Everyday I look at you and I say to myself, how was I smart enough to know that this, this young man would always keep me happy, always make me feel safe, always challenge me?
JH: And there’s no one that comes anywhere near close to you.
FJH: Oh my god, honey. We’re both lucky. And I think this is done because what more can we say?
JH: Mm-hmm.
FJH: Unless I leap across this table and just hug and kiss you. (Laughs.)
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KK: That was Julia and Joel Helfman in 2019. Their love story, which eventually included some hanky-panky, created five kids, eleven grandkids, and eight great-grandkids.
Unlike the Helfmans, who grew up in the same city, this next couple grew up a world apart.
Back in 2007, Rachel Salazar was living in Bangkok, Thailand and Ruben Salazar was living in Waco, Texas. They didn’t know each other existed, but they had one thing in common — their initials, both RPS, which meant that their email addresses were nearly identical. They came to StoryCorps to remember how an accidental keystroke became a stroke of luck.
Ruben Salazar (RuS): I get to work, first thing I do is turn on my email. And I discovered this one that I didn’t know who it was from.
Rachel Salazar (RaS): My coworker sent you that email by mistake.
RuS: And I was like, here’s another R.P. Salazar. Imagine that. And so I forwarded it. I wrote a little message: Hi, Rachel, it seems as if this message came to me instead of you. I’m in Waco, Texas, USA. Have a great day. PS, how’s the weather there in Bangkok?
RaS: I replied to you: Weather in Bangkok is lovely. Gracias, Rachel.
RuS: So began a chain of emails.
RaS: The first couple of emails, you started describing yourself and that, kind of, encouraged me to be open about myself too.
RuS: I was excited that this person is halfway around the world. It’s kind of like sending a letter in a bottle. I happened to hover my mouse over your name on one of those emails and a picture of you popped up. I was like, Wow. She’s really beautiful. How can I make this picture bigger? [Laughs] I would stay up late at night, which was your morning, and we would chat for like four or five hours.
RaS: You had started to play an important role in my life even before I consciously realized it. I knew that I was falling in love, but there’s still that tiny little bit of doubt that this might not work because we’re 8,000 miles away from each other. But at some point I finalized my plans to visit the US.
RuS: And you didn’t tell anyone.
RaS: Because everyone would tell me, ‘you’re foolish to go halfway across the world to meet some strange guy you have not met. That would be crazy.’
RuS: And on my end, every relative, every friend, co-worker—everyone knew.
RaS: We were together for eight days.
RuS: We were dancing one night and you mentioned something to the effect that no one…
RaS: I said that you were the sweetest guy I’ve ever met.
RuS: I knew right at that moment, I need to say something or do something so that I don’t lose her. And so I got on my knee and asked you to marry me.
RaS: Deep in my heart I knew it was coming, and it was the right thing and it was the best thing.
RuS: People didn’t believe me when I told them “I proposed to Rachel,” and some of them had second thoughts for me. Followed by 5 minutes of laughter.
RaS: They now all tell us, “You’re perfect for each other. You found the right match.”
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KK: That was Ruben and Rachel Salazar remembering their digital love connection for StoryCorps. After the break, a little mood music from 1950s Brooklyn.
Stay with us.
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KK: Our next story starts with a song. It was 1950s Brooklyn and Jay McKnight was in his late teens. Him and his friends would spend their nights singing acapella on their block. Their vocals caught the attention of a lot of people in the neighborhood. But for Jay, there was one person in the crowd who caught his attention. At StoryCorps, Jay and his wife, Andrea, remember what drew them to each other.
Andrea McKnight (AM): We heard these voices, the guys singing on the corner. And this tall, dark fellow was singing. He had these shades on. I was like, look at this guy. Voice was fabulous. And young as I was at the time, I think I was, what 14? I said, nah, he’s not even going to take notice of me.
James McKnight (JM): I was 18 going on 19 years of age. I looked at a friend of mine, who I was singing with and I said, ”I’m going to marry her.” You know what he told me – “You’re going to jail.”
JM and AM: (Laughs)
JM: “She’s too young.” I said, “No, I’m really going to marry her.” So one day she was by herself; I said I’m going to talk to her now. As a young guy, you drop your voice.
AM: You was trying to impress.
JM: I said, ”Hi. How you doing?”
AM: [Laughs]
JM: Like that…
AM: [Laughs] Which made me nervous.
JM: It was to impress.
AM: You remember the thing that impressed me about you? We were on the bus coming from the movies and it started thundering and poured down rain. Getting off the bus there was a puddle and you took your shirt off—
JM: [Laughs] Yeah.
AM: —and laid it down. I was finished.
JM: Yeah.
AM: Finished. You hear?
JM: We actually wanted to get married, but everybody in her family wanted to kill me.
AM: [Laughs]
JM: So our parents got together and talked.
AM: It was a talk and a half.
JM: I don’t know. It was—
AM: You had to come and speak to my grandmother.
JM: I was scared, and she was terrified. But we did get married.
AM: We did.
JM: I was no bed of roses to live with, because I’m an entertainer. There’s a lot of temptation out there when you’re singing.
AM: Yeah.
JM: I mean, there’s a lot. But I used to tell them, “When you get as pretty as my wife, then we’ll talk.”
AM: Why do you think that we lasted as long as we did?
JM: We like the same things. Cowboy movies; we’re crazy about them.
AM: [Laughs]
JM: That’s the reason why things get along so well. Because we have a lot in common.
AM: No seriously.
JM: I think it’s because we grew up together.
AM: Did you ever think that we would grow old together?
JM: I never thought I would ever grow old.
AM: Okay. [Laughs]
JM: To start off with. But uh, people look at us sometimes and say, “Y’all still holding hands?”
AM: Uh huh.
JM: That’s right.
AM: Our children say that to us.
JM: Yeah, but no other woman in the world ever moved me. And I’ll always love you, no matter what.
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KK: Jay and Andrea McKnight in 2011 in New York City.
And finally, a love story that’s literally battle tested. Mike Rudulph was 20 years old when he joined the Marines.
He deployed to Iraq in 2003, right in the middle of the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell era. This meant that people who were gay couldn’t openly serve in the military. When Mike came to StoryCorps, he sat down with his now husband, Neil Rafferty, to talk about how their love story began when Mike got back from his first deployment.
Mike Rudulph (MR): I logged into the internet one day, and I met you. We talked on the phone…
Neil Rafferty (NR): All night long, until the sun came up.
MR: By the end of the week, we were saying “I love you” over the phone.
NR: Right, and then the first time I actually got to see you…
MR: We kissed.
NR: Yeah, in your parents’ front driveway, so they couldn’t see anything. [Laughs] And I just remember we drove to the woods.
MR: And we laid in the back of the truck and looked at the stars. I’d fallen in love with you. You had fallen in love with me. I mean, this is perfect.
NR: But then, all of a sudden, you find out you have to get deployed again in a month. And I remember being like let’s just make the most of it. So we spent every single day together.
MR: Yeah, and then it was that last night that we had together. And I was leaving that very next day and I packed my bags. And I remember sitting in the bed, crying in my mother’s arms, not able to tell her exactly why I’m crying.
NR: That was the worst part; I couldn’t tell my mom. And then you were gone and you were in Iraq. I’d write you letters and sign them as Lisa, in case they were ever found. And you’d call me every once in a while.
But you did not call me for like three weeks. And I just remember one day finally crying in my mother’s arms. And I told her, ‘I haven’t heard from Mike in so long.’ She was like, ‘Why are you so worried about him?’ And I said, ‘Cause I love him.’ That was when I came out to my mother. And she just held me and said that she knew already. [Laughs] That we weren’t nearly as sneaky as we thought we were.
MR: [Laughs] And then I got back from Iraq and you told me, ‘Mike, I don’t ever want you to go to Iraq alone again.’ I said, ‘Well, I’m sorry. If I get the opportunity I’m going,’ and then you said, ‘I know, and I want to go with you.’ So you joined the Marines for me, man.
NR: We were both in the infantry. We were both in the same unit.
MR: And we got through it with only a few people catching wind of it.
NR: And then you left the Marine Corps after that.
MR: I was so sick of living a lie as a Marine. I was ready to bust out of the closet with rainbows and glitter, and that’s where we are now, man.
NR: Yeah. We are what we are because of our insistence on being with one another.
MR: Just two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other, and I can’t wait to see where we go with this life.
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KK: That’s Mike Rudulph with his husband, Neil Rafferty, in Birmingham, Alabama. In 2018, Neil ran for office in their home state and he won —making him the first openly gay man to be elected into the Alabama legislature. Neil and Mike eloped that same year. And someday, once this pandemic is over, they plan on celebrating their marriage with some of their fellow Marines in attendance.
That’s all for this episode of the StoryCorps podcast. To read about the music we used in this episode, head to storycorps – dot – org. While you’re there you can also check out original artwork created by Lindsay Mound.
This episode was produced by me with help from Sylvie Lubow, and edited by Jud Esty-Kendall. Our technical director is Jarrett Floyd, who also composed our theme song. Our fact-checker is Natsumi Ajisaka. Special thanks to StoryCorps producers Michael Garofalo, John White, Aisha Turner, Eleanor Vassili, and Jasmyn Morris and facilitators Carolina Escobar and Virginia Lora.
For the StoryCorps podcast, I’m Kamilah Kashanie. Catch you next week.
