Sulochana Konur (SK) and Melissa Konur (MK)

MK: Do you remember when your parents said you had to get married?

SK: Well I sort of argued with my parents and I cried and I said that I want to go to college but I don’t want to get married. But I think about a week later, my father got a letter saying that family was interested. I knew that after that, it was going to be the marriage. So. There was nothing I could do.

MK: How long after that did the wedding happen?

SK: Maybe two months.

MK: Wow. And how long have you been married now?

SK: Goodness. We just now finished 37 years.

MK: What was your first impression of when Sanjay first brought me home?

SK: Um…

MK: You can be honest.

SK: I didn’t know how to feel. Um… confused, I would say. It wasn’t natural. Let’s put it that way. I had imagined picking a girl for him not him introducing me to the girl. But Sanjay gave me enough notice and he prepared me well in advance. Um, I have a friend she’s married an American. We called them up and said “What are you supposed to do when you meet the girl for the first time? Does that mean they’re going to get married?” You know, all kinds of questions that I had and she said, “No, in this country when they bring you home that means that he likes her well enough to introduce you to her. This is one of the things he that wants to test out. That’s part of his getting to know Melissa”. So then I felt a little bit relieved. I said, “Ok so that doesn’t mean that I have to say yes or no on the first visit”. And since you were, like so talkative, it was easy. And so it didn’t take us too long to like you.

MK: Are there any words of wisdom you’d like to pass along to me or to Sanjay?

SK: That’s a difficult question for me, because here you get to know each other, make your own choices, and you have made a commitment to the marriage and to spend your lives together. And I got into a marriage without knowing the person, didn’t make the choice, but I don’t think it’s going to be different for you than it was for me. If at all anything it will be more difficult for you because you have gone cross the culture lines and as you stay married longer you will find out things that are different about each other not what is common about each other. And you have to grow together rather than looking for something in common.

MK: Do you have any hopes for the future?

SK: I hope I live long enough to know that you both are happy. That’s all I wish for. It’s wish. It’s not a hope, it’s just a wish.