Narrator: In 1995, 14-year-old Tony Hicks shot and killed 20-year old Tariq Khamisa in a gang-related robbery.

Tony became the youngest person in California to be charged as an adult, and served the majority of his sentence in maximum-security prisons.

While Tariq’s father, Azim, was grieving his son, he also came to a realization.

Azim Khamisa (AK): I had this out of body experience, and God sent me back to my body with the wisdom that there are victims at both ends of the gun.

Narrator: A few years into Tony’s sentence, Azim and Tony met for the first time. Tony was released in 2019, and they recently spoke using StoryCorps Connect. 

Azim Khamisa (AK): It took me five years to develop enough courage to come and meet you. What do you remember about our first meeting? 

Tony Hicks (TH): We were in the visiting room in Folsom State Prison. I had been anxious over meeting you. I felt so horrible for what I did that I wanted to be able to do something to help you heal in some type of way. 

AK: I was amazed of your composure. You didn’t portray any of the typical attitude of a 19-year-old in our culture. 

TH: Well, coming into a maximum-security prison at 16, I had to grow up and mature a little bit just to survive in there. 

AK: You know, one of the questions I had for you is if Tariq said anything to you, because you were the last person to see him. We locked eyes for a long time. It was painful.

TH: It was the most difficult conversation that I had in my life. 

AK: You were remorseful. You took responsibility for your actions and in that moment, I got that the spark in you was no different than the spark in me.  

It was at that point I told you that I have forgiven you. 

TH: Your forgiveness was heavy on me. I didn’t feel like I was deserving because I knew what I had taken away from you. But your example gave me space to work on understanding that I was worth being forgiven.

AK: I always felt forgiveness is something you give to yourself. I grew up in the Sufi tradition and I think that helped me a lot to know that I didn’t want to go through life in anger and revenge. And after our first meeting, my stride was much bouncier leaving the prison than the one I’d walked in with. And I thought to myself: Why did I wait five years? Because it was a gift, and I honor you for doing that.

TH: Years later, when I was released from prison, I wanted to go back to where I murdered Tariq and just bring my past and my present together in that moment. I wanted to reaffirm to Tariq I was a changed person, and that I wouldn’t squander this opportunity.

AK: I liked what you said, Tony, “to bring your past and present together.” That pain is not a bad thing if it makes you a better person. That’s how I feel the journey has been for me. 

TH: You are instrumental in the person that I am today and I am extraordinarily grateful to know you and to have you in my life.